MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello".
Mrs. Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from
another Mr.Sanders arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your
husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible.

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimers and the other one tested
positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husbands."

"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.

"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."

"Well, what am I suppose to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the
middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

With Love From Me To You

With Love From Me To You
Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits
by Pam Ayres.

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning,
It's natures revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing,
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe.
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.