SHORT AND SOMETIMES SWEET......

Bit of a bummer... The World in Brief.
A 48-year-old man dangled upside-down from a chairlift for 15 minutes without trousers and underpants at Vail, Colorado, after the fold-down seat was not in the correct lowered-down position. He fell through the gap as he got on the high-speed lift. Onlookers rushed to take mobile phone pictures of the man's posterior.

In Brief...
A GYM in London has replaced its dumbells with human weights... including midgets who
shout encouragement to motivate excercise. They introduced the bizarre regime with human
weights ranging from 155kg man to a 30kg female midget.
The human dumbbells wear black leotards with their weights printed across their chests.
WHAT NEXT!!!!!

IN BRIEF......
We were told a while back that a glass of wine a day was good for the heart... all the heart attack patients went on winery tours to find a nice glass of the grape to help strengthen their hearts.
WELL, now we are being told a SMALL glass of wine a day can more than DOUBLE the risk of cancer.. a study has claimed.
It says consuming one 125ml glass of wine increases the chance of developing mouth and throat cancer by 168%.
Small daily doses of alcohol were the most harmful.The cause is above all the transformation of ethanol in alcohol to acetaldehyde, which damages DNA....... oh well. another headache!!!

HOW TO COOK AN EGG!!!

If you want to know how hot it got during the bushfires........

There are five chooks and they live in a chicken coop about 20m from the family home at Buxton.

The house burnt down in the fires, but the coop, survived, though the flames reached right up to the wire fence.
The chooks owner, Anne said, "Those five chooks kept laying, but the really incredible thing is that, when we cracked open the eggs, they were hard."

They had cooked in their shells!!

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 7th 2009:

We woke early, expecting another hot day, we had been experiencing for weeks, temp's in the high 30's, but today was going to be in the 40's and not being lovers of the heat and humidity, wasn't relishing the thought.

Rang my friend in Woori Yallock, (near Warburton Vic.) to wish her Happy Birthday, she and hubby intended to have a night out in Lilydale for dinner, that was never to be.

After hearing radio warnings etc, feared for my daughter and her family, who live at Castlemaine, reports of home loss near Bendigo, the way the fires were travelling, my brain was over-active.

A cousin living in Kilmore, phone calls to her mother in Healesville, hoping they were OK, yes they were activating their fire plan, animals brought in from the paddocks etc. They were safe as the wind had changed.

The numb feelings when hearing the reports of Marysville, Allan was born in Healesville, down the mountain, He worked with a lot of the old timers living in Marysville, played footy against them, country towns are mates for life.... Castella and Toolangi, neighbours... heart ache.

Then the following week, fears again of an inferno... this time Warburton down the mount... the friends in Woori Yallock have their fire plan in action again... Allans family in Healesville is ringed in fire, the smoke is thick, they have heart problems and experience trouble breathing if outside for tooo long, one sister had to leave and spent the night with in-laws.

Last Wednesday was the first time we could get down to visit, we drove through the mountain from Glenburn and Flowerdale, through Castella and Toolangi, the terrain was devastating,
it was always thick with ferns, old gums, all you could think was, the poor animals, then a house here and there that was saved..... that night while laying in bed, trying to sleep, all I could think off was how terrifying it would have been for those living 'it', the children, they will hold those sights for years to come.

MOTHER AND SON POEM...

My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
he decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The Childrens Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion'
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head.
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
like your mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
and it's illegal too!
Mum, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known
As 'C.S.D.'

MUM'S REPLY AND THOUGHTS.
Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let it go,
a smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.'
I've called and checked with C.S.D.
Who said they didn't care
if I brought you K-Mart shoes
instead of Nike Airs.
I've cancelled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best.'
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own flaming lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
and wait 'til dinner time,
we're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine.
He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tyres on my car.
I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat,
that allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike and roller blades,
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
it's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
why are you on your knees?
are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D...?
from a Mean Old MuM.

HISTORY MYSTERY.

.
Have a history teacher explain this... if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846
John F Kennedy was elected to congress 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860
John F Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday,
Both were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy,
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southeners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln was born in 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford".
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford".Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
A week before Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot he was with Marilyn Monroe........
C r e e p y E h.????
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
If you fold an American (new) $20 bill certain ways a simple geometric fold
creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!
You will see;
1... the pentagon on fire.
2... the twin towers and then OSMA... it gets better..9+11= $20.

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual AP headline)
Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in the car with the windows rolled
up with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car.
He noticed that Lisa's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.
He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough
on the back of her head....
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of the head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until
someone noticed and came to her aid........Lisa is a blonde.

How sad is this.. Worker dead at desk for five days...

from the New York Times.) Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed
that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for five days, before anyone asked if he was feeling OK. George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proof reader at a New York firm
for 30 years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other workers.
He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturday morning when an office cleaner asked why he was working during the weekend.
His boss said, "George was always the first guy in each morning and the last to leave at night, so no one found it unusual that he was in the same position all that time and didn't say anything.
He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself."
A post mortem examination revealed that he had been dead for five days after suffering a coronary.
George was proof-reading manuscripts of medical textbooks when he died.
You may want to give your co-workers a nudge occasionally.
The moral of the story... Don't work too hard...Nobody notices anyway.